“The Matrix”: An Attempt at Evading the Inevitable

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During my last 13 years in education, my husband and I have had three children.  It’s true what “they” say…each one of them has their own identity. Each has their personal strengths and weaknesses. Two boys and a girl. Our youngest, a pretty little girl with tomboy tendencies; a girl after her mother’s own heart! She loves pink and purple, frilly dresses, wrestling with her brothers, running track, doing 1st grade homework, and reading! Everything a tomboy, teacher mom could ask for in a perfect little girl. Ok, I’m probably a little biased.

Our middle son, a fourth grader, is the dirty playground, playing in puddles, neighborhood pick up football game type.  He insists on playing with the big kids in the neighborhood. Exactly the things that make a daddy’s chest puff out with pride.  He does have a sensitive side, as well I must say.  He’s a pretty well-rounded young man for this 21st century day and age, if I do say so myself.  He is also the one that strives for academic perfection at this point and time.  Admittedly, we have to encourage him to put his book down or leave it at home when we run errands.  He reads all…the… time! I mean, that’s heavenly for a teacher mom, right?

Our oldest son, our first born, well…he learned to entertain himself at an early age. We were told that this was typical of the first-born, so, we went with it.  While he entertained himself, he entertained us as well. He loved Sesame Street, The Backyardigans, and Scooby-Doo and we thought that was so adorable at the time.  Three years into teaching, I thought I was doing everything right in terms of introducing him to literacy. I had labels all around the house (door, refrigerator, bathroom, etc.), we read to him every night, and he listened to books on tape. I mean, we were even teaching him sight words BEFORE he went to kindergarten! Everything you can think of, we did! After all, I am a teacher, so, I knew exactly what he needed to begin obtaining strong literacy skills, right?

By the middle of first grade, we began to notice that our oldest, our first-born, was struggling with reading. How could this possibly be? I mean, I’m a teacher!! I’m doing everything RIGHT!  He began to show strength in the area of mathematics, but was now shying away from reading. He didn’t want to practice reading at night and certainly didn’t want to talk about the pictures and what was happening in the story. His demeanor seemed to be saying, “Hey teacher mom, will you please just read the story.” He was beginning to become uninterested in anything that involved reading. We just assumed this was developmental. Everything will come together soon. His reading will improve and he’ll be a lover of reading, just like we dreamed he would be. After all, his mother IS a teacher and that’s how things are supposed to be, right?

I was heartbroken as things did not get better right away and in fact, reading is still a major struggle for our now 6th grader. Don’t get me wrong, he’s made excellent strides, but, in all honesty, reading remains his pain staking nemesis; the thorn in his side; his “matrix”. To him, reading was pages among pages of letters that simply frustrated him every day and evening at the beginning literacy stages. “What is this? What is going on?”, I thought to myself so very often. His MOTHER is a TEACHER for heaven’s sake! Why doesn’t he love this…this…reading! Tested…yes! Tutored…yes! Genres of interest? Certainly. Modeled behavior? Absolutely, yes, yes, yes!  We tried all of those things. Been there and done that. He, himself would admit, “Yes, reading is ok, but, it’s hard.”, so he did, and still does, everything he can to get around it. Therefore, the fact remains, that he, our first-born, sees reading as a matrix and evades reading at all costs. My goodness! Doesn’t he realize that reading is the main artery that cultivates every other subject? Reading is inevitable! There is no way around it! It’s connected to everything we do! Of course he knows this! For goodness sake…HIS MOTHER….IS…A TEACHER!

Well, in the grand scheme of things, he DOES enjoy reading about historical fiction and books about nature…for a few minutes at least. He gets excited about buying books at the book fair and going to the public library and we are extremely proud of him and his siblings for that matter for the gains they have all made. But when it comes down to it, if our son had to choose reading on his own, without prompting… Oh, no. This wouldn’t be number one on his list of things to do. He evades that matrix at every opportunity, even choosing to do more chores before reading! Yes, yes…I AM lucky in that aspect.

So, what of this thing called “reading”?  How do we as teachers get our students to appreciate this matrix that surrounds us?  We work with 20, 25, 30 students everyday and are suppose to put that teacher touch on literacy and reading to make it exciting and fun. But, what about that “one”? That one like my oldest son, who passed all the “identifying” assessments, and just simply is not motivated to read. How do we help them to enter the matrix with no fear? There is no portal to close and no magic pills to take to protect us from it or to avoid it. There is no evading what is inevitable! Reading is all around us! How do we help our students get motivated and connect with reading? I mean, come on…we ARE teachers after all. We DO have all the answers to everything. Don’t we?

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3 comments on ““The Matrix”: An Attempt at Evading the Inevitable

  1. Robbi says:

    So powerful and such a common struggle for educators…how to reach that ‘one’.

    I have a few ‘ones’ in the classroom where I assist, yet the educator won’t/hasn’t take(n)the time to assess them to see HOW they learn. I observe her frantically fret over teaching literacy & reading and become frustrated when she doesn’t reach them. There are many challenges she has and other things I won’t get into right now, but a quick assessment would at least let her know HOW to attempt to reach the ‘ones’.

    Knowing how a student learns lets an educator know how to teach that ‘one’. If my ‘ones’ are visual learners, yet I continually lecture to them, or force them to try to learn by what they hear, what good am I doing? I’m only frustrating the ‘ones’ and myself!
    If the ‘ones’ are hands on learners yet I teach them visually, what good am I doing?

    Learning HOW the ‘ones’ learn is a great place for educators to start teaching them. At least the educator will have a better chance at reaching those ‘ones’.

    I LOVE the way you leave your blog open ended causing others to ponder and think out of the box! That’s what we need in this 21st century paradigm shift in education! How clever!!!!

  2. Ardi says:

    great blog! I see this in G…will read..but not for pleasure

  3. Elder says:

    Such a powerful observation. The pain that literacy is for some. Not just pain but how literacy bothers people and gets on their nerves.. Epic insight….

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