A Note of Gratitude

I don’t know what it is, but these last three months have felt more like six! If your classroom is like mine, then, the honeymoon is OVER! My scholars have turned from the quiet, unsure fifth graders they began the year as, to a group of 20 extremely rambunctious, moody, narcissistic children! Oh, there are some great character traits in the room as well. There are talented athletes, great senses of humor, very bright young folks in this classroom. But, man are they selfish! I don’t think I’ve seen anything like it before! I know, I know…it’s the age. The fact remains that it is still a source of great frustration, especially when you work so purposefully every day to teach school and self PRIDE, which in this case, is an acronym that stands for Perseverance, Respect, Integrity, Determination, and Empathy.

It happens every single year… I find myself comparing last year’s class to the current. There are as many similarities as there are differences. While I don’t have as many behavior challenges, I have one that requires a lot of energy! I’m exhausted when I get home every night from all the energy that he requires! I have many that love to read, love to do math, just plain love to learn. Then, there’s the handful that have great difficulty sitting still long enough for a 5-10 minute mini lesson. I can’t help but to stop and think about how my scholars are progressing this year. The year started out awesome! So, why in the world am I burned out already!!

I was speaking with a coworker recently about how drawn I am to the struggling students. He shared that he could really tell how invested I am in my students. That I really have a deep love for all of them that he highly respects. What an amazing compliment! He added, however, that I cannot save them all (I think to myself [with a heavy sigh], “Why not??). Trying to save them all, he explained, will leave me exhausted and disappointed. He’s never been more correct. While I wish I could, I just have to realize, I do not have a cape big enough to accommodate every single trouble my scholars have, let alone every single child. I’m simply not equipped to.

I dropped my scholars off at their Related Arts class feeling exhausted and defeated, just as my coworker suggested. As I dragged myself to the mail room to pick up my mail (yes…I must say, I was a pitiful sight), I began to open my mail while reflecting on the day. Did I make my scholars learning meaningful today? I wonder what my scholars learned about themselves today? What did I learn about myself today? Did I do everything possible to make today’s learning better for them than yesterday? Today…{sigh}…I just wasn’t sure. It was at that moment that I opened an envelope that contained a handwritten letter. To my surprise, it was from VICTOR!!

A note of gratitude from Victor! Not many words, but a very large message received!

If you remember, Victor was my “challenge” (and also my blessing) last year. He’s a very bright, yet troubled young man. I put every bit of my being into teaching him basic life skills and self worth. As you can imagine, my eyes welled with tears. My cheeks hurt from the smile he put on my face with this letter. What an amazing confirmation! While I read that Victor was thankful for me teaching him multiplication strategies, I believe in my heart that he was thanking me for so much more than that.

I’ve been fueled a bit by Victor’s letter. I felt good knowing in that moment, that even though he displayed a nonchalant attitude towards me and learning at times, he let me know that he heard me something, AND…was GRATEFUL! I exhaled in the moment of gratuitousness.

Just when I thought my teacher tank was filled up, a kindergartner stopped me in the hallway during dismissal. She is the younger sister of another scholar I had last year. She gave me a hug, then handed me a handwritten letter from her brother. What?! ANOTHER letter of gratitude?! If it weren’t before, my tank is definitely full now!

Another note of gratitude from a past scholar! He inspired ME more than I inspired him! I’M grateful for HIM!

Here’s the takeaway… Be not dismayed by the seemingly unresponsive attitudes that some of your scholars may tend to display. They are struggling with a great many pubescent emotional and social battles. There is a strong need to belong and to roam among the “in crowd”.  For boys, there is the need to show they are the strongest and bravest. It’s like these boys are vying for the Alpha Male position on the playground! Even more concerning, the temptation to join gangs is prevalent among these young men. For girls, they begin searching for love in all the wrong places. Flirtatious behavior is booming among these young ladies!! They want to be the prettiest and the most popular. Sadly, academics don’t seem to find a place anywhere in any of this at times. That’s a lot, isn’t it? Now, add to that the abuse that is either witnessed or endured. The noticeable struggle for parents to make ends meet in order to provide adequate food and/or shelter for their families. There’s also the threat of families being torn apart by deportation and/or simply abandonment. There is the simplistic, intrinsic need to receive a hug, a pat on the back, an encouraging word, to simply feel…LOVED! These scholars are dealing with so much! More than any one of us could possibly imagine.

Find solace in the fact that, in those heated moments, when your scholars tend to make you feel unappreciated, devalued, and disrespected, that there are one, two, or maybe more that you’ve left behind who feel a sense of gratitude for everything you’ve taught them about reading, math, and most importantly…LIFE. Know that they just don’t no how to tell you.

As I was composing this blog, I received yet ANOTHER note of gratitude from this young lady. My goodness! I didn’t mean to “make her an over achiever”.  I only wanted to teach her to always strive to be the best SHE could be…ALWAYS!! I think she got the point.